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How to Cope When You’re Sad During the Holiday Season

Screen Shot 2015-11-07 at 6.35.26 PM Thirteen years ago my mother died after a two year battle with cancer.  She died on November 4th and it was a day that I will never forget.  A few years earlier my step father died close to the holidays and over twenty years ago my husband’s mother (who would’ve been my mother in law if we had been married at the time) also died right before the holidays.

My mother’s birthday is also in November right before Thanksgiving, so I understand what it’s like to have lost a loved one during the holiday season and I’d like to share a few ways that I have learned to deal with the memories and the loss during the holidays.

The first thing to remember is that it is completely OK to remember your loved one.  Sometimes people try  to be well meaning when they don’t bring up your loved one, because they think that if they do, it will upset you.  However, that’s not the case. Generally, when people talk about your loved one, it makes it easier to deal with the loss.  So, if you want to talk about your loved one who has died, tell your friends it’s okay.  Allow them to ask questions and use the time to remember.

The second thing to do is to allow yourself to feel your emotions.  God created us to feel, which means that it’s okay to feel.  If you’re feeling sad, then allow yourself a time to cry and remember.  If you’re feeling angry, allow yourself an opportunity to talk out why you feel angry or set aside a time to journal about your feelings.  If you’re disappointed or your expectations were not met, take time to examine those feelings and allow yourself to process them.  The key here is to create an environment for yourself that is safe and conducive to healing.  Don’t stuff your feelings because that will only lead to more stress on your body and it may create more depression.

The third thing to do is set boundaries when you’re with others.  The holidays are notorious for family gatherings that may cause stress.  If you already know that visiting family is going to be stressful, then have a plan set up in advance and keep to that plan.  I recommend having a two hour time slot that you spend with difficult family.  All you have to do is tell your family that you will be with them for two hours and then you have another commitment.  This allows you the freedom to be with family without wearing yourself out emotionally.

The fourth thing to remember is that God is near to the brokenhearted.  Most people have some type of belief in God and for the Christian we are especially blessed because we have a God, in Jesus Christ, who tells us that He was a man of sorrows who was acquainted with grief and that He is near to the brokenhearted.  Pour your heart out to the One who loves you and is able to comfort you in the deepest parts of your heart.  He loves you and will carry you through the hard times.  Allow Him to love you and heal you.

 

For the Love of a Hummingbird

hummingbird (1)Welcome everyone to our brand new blog!   As you know, I’m Stacy Lynn and I’m thrilled that you’ve decided to stop by and join us for a little inspiration and education.  My hope and prayer is that as you join me here on the blog, you become the “flying jewel” that you truly are!

Let me explain why you see a hummingbird on my page.  When I told a few people that I was picking a hummingbird as my visual logo I received a few funny looks, which just made me laugh because I’ve never been one to do the boring, cookie cutter thing…ever.

Seriously, should I have  a whistle as my logo?  For what, so that you instantly think “COACH!” – As the apostle Paul once said, “May it never be!”

I picked the hummingbird because the hummingbird is by far one of the most amazing birds that God has created.  The hummingbird is referred to as a “Flying Jewel” in the Spanish culture, and when I read that, I instantly thought, “How cool is that!”

I have to admit that I also had a picture of diamonds and rubies being thrown through the air also, which is exactly why I decided to go with the hummingbird theme.  If just the term “flying jewel” can invoke in my mind a picture of valuable diamonds and rubies being thrown all over the place, then how much more so the brilliance that lies within each human heart, and that is exactly what this is about.

As humans, fully loved by God and created by Him for His pleasure, the relationship with Him is the cure for all that hinders us.  I believe that to the core of who I am and I want you to believe that also.

If God created the hummingbird with such precision and intention and He made the hummingbird do all of these crazy and insane things that scientists are baffled by, then how much more valuable and important are YOU!

Did you know that a hummingbird visits and drinks nectar from at least 1000 flowers every day?   It’s true!  Did you know that you impact the lives of thousands of people also?  That’s true, except you may not  know this, until someone tells you.

Did you know that the hummingbird has the ability to hide their brilliant colors or flash them when necessary?  It’s true!  Did you know that you have that same ability with the gifts and talents that God has given you?  It’s true and I’m happy to let you know, because maybe you didn’t know this!  Or maybe you’re a genius and you did :)

My point here, is that just like a hummingbird has a uniqueness all its own, so do you and my hope and prayer is that as you begin to see the beauty in the creation that you are, that you excel and fly above the rest.

You may be in the beginning stages of your journey.  In the world of the hummingbird that is what they call the “pinkie” stage.  This is where you’re being birthed and coming out of your shell.    Or maybe you’re in the “nestling” stage, where you’re a little further along and still hanging within the security of your old habits and surroundings.  Maybe you’re in the “fledgling” stage where you have taken flight, but you still have things that keep you hopping around on the ground.

Whatever the stage you’re in, it’s okay!   I once read that an expert in something started as a beginner first.  We all started in our mother’s womb, where the Lord, fearfully and wonderfully made us for His glory.

And since God created you, you’re here for a reason.   So, I thank you for joining me and for taking flight with me as we soar to new heights in our faith, in our relationships and in what we broadcast to the world.